Wednesday, June 15, 2011

While Watching "Red Riding Hood"...


...I was shocked to learn that Twilight wasn't the worst thing Catherine Hardwicke has ever inflicted upon us, this one is!
How, and why, you would ask yourself, would the woman who made one of the worst movies of all time, not attempt to atone for her sins with something even slightly better? Heck, even slightly entertaining? What we get is essentially Twilight with werewolves...wait (maybe Catherine resents she never got the chance to have Taylor Lautner shirtless turning into a big dog?)
The plot isn't worthy to even bother with although Julie Christie's appearance is baffling! It's a shame Hardwicke can't even get her to deliver one of those loony performances given by legendary actors in shitty movies. Perhaps the most puzzling element in this (besides just how beautiful Amanda Seyfried can look) is, what the hell does Catherine Hardwicke have against sex?
This movie is filled with morality clauses about infidelity, marriage, virgins, engagements etc. and when she actually tries to create a sex scene (between Seyfried and Shiloh Fernandez), everything is so icy and staged that she manages to make two beautiful people in horny mood, look completely stale and dull.
What do you think is her problem? Is she secretly trying to use her movies (Twilight, The Nativity Story, Thirteen) to make the whole world chaste?

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