Oscars 2012: Worst Dressed and Meh (Mostly Meh Though)

This year nobody seemed to make a total fool out of themselves which is a surprise. Then again, the Oscars had never been this safe and predictable in terms of winner which makes the fashion all the more understandable. To kick things off in the meh department we have Miss Angelina Jolie, whose leg seems to have taken on a life of its own in the aftermath of this preposterous look. While we all can agree that she's a beautiful woman, her leg pose was stupid because it made everyone laugh while she thought she was being Jessica Rabbit in terms of sexiness. Perhaps if the leg hadn't been poking out of a boring velvet Atelier Versace, we might've been a bit more impressed by it.

Bérénice Bejo's  Elie Saab is not bad by any means, but the color washes her out in such a way, that not even her fiery hair can spark any life in it.

Jesus Christ, enough with the nude color Kristen Wiig! This J. Mendle might be beautiful but it feels like she's worn it to every awards show she's been to.

This Marchesa is a tricky thing. On one side the combination of colors is quite striking and the beading is quite the handcraft, but it makes poor SaBu look at least twenty years older and twenty pounds heavier. The unflattering mid-section makes it seem as if she just had too much ice cream and wants to conceal her new belly. The lack of drama upstairs (meaning the natural makeup) in this case work against her, because we keep being drawn to the strange ice claws around her waist. Overall this one's a mess.

Melissa Leo is a mess one more time. This time she went for a too informal Reem Acra that slightly recall this ensemble worn by Natalie Portman last year. Portman was pregnant at the time, which explains the fact that she was going for a shapeless look. Leo has no excuse.

Wouldn't Jane Fonda have looked great in this Valentino Couture gown? It's totally up her alley and she's only like 60 years older than Shailene Woodley...

Oy, most people are in love with Viola Davis and think saying something unflattering about her is either being a racist, an idiot or the most insensitive person alive, but not even they will be able to deny that she chose a very bad time to get rid of her wigs. We get it, she's proud of her heritage but the wigs were so beautiful that I'm sure no one really knew they were fake. This new hair gives her a Dennis Rodman look that's beyond unflattering, mostly because she's always pairing it up with dresses that are way too tight in the boob department. The color in this Vera Wang isn't doing anything for her really.

Oh J. Lo, you A-list hoochie. This Zuhair Murad dress is what Octavia Spencer was wearing but unlike what the pattern did for her, it does nothing for Lopez who looks like a hooker from space. The holes on her arms are inexplicable and give the dress a cheap look. Did she run out of fabric?

What do you think of these ladies? Anyone here you would promote to best?

Oscar Leap Recap.

As usual the Oscars were an almost instantly forgettable affair. Billy Crystal did a decent, albeit extremely safe, hosting job and everyone and their grandmother knew that The Artist would win the top awards, so that gave the whole affair a slightly dull mood. Here are my fave bits in chronological order:

Queen Meryl, who had a great surprise in store, was on her usual wonderful mood. She is always such a good sport, even when she must suffer through some real humiliations, like having Sandra Bullock defeat her.

Cameron Diaz and J. Lo epitomized silly fun when they presented the make-up award. In all honesty though, I had no idea that Cam's behind was so, well, ample. 

Meryl being a sport for her The Iron Lady make-up team...

This was the second best win of the night. A complete surprise too, considering it actually deserved to win!

The Christopher Guest troupe was all sorts of brilliant and I couldn't help but wonder what are people waiting to have Eugene Levy play Marty in a biopic.

My favorite part about Dragon Tattoo winning Best Editing was to have the orchestra play the shoulda-been-a-winner score by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross.

This bit was slightly ridiculous but Gwynnie was Carole Lombard brilliant, proving that you can be funny and still look like a goddess.

Speaking of goddesses, I demand to get on whatever Emma Stone was on when she presented her award. She was such a joy to watch! She should've hosted the whole thing!

Isn't Kenneth Branagh the cutest?

No wait, isn't Uggie the cutest?

Ugh NO, wait, isn't Bret McKenzie the cutest?

Y'all know I can't stand Angelina Jolie most of the time, which is why I loved that Jim Rash mocked her ridiculous leg move right after she presented him with his Oscar. I'm sure he was exiled from Hollywood the following morning but his, well, rash move injected the event with an oh-no-he-didn't rush of joy.

Woody won!

I hope the Scorsese drinking game goes on for as long as the world exists.

Le sigh...

Rooney Mara won in my heart and I love that her clip was the most risky Oscar has done since I started watching them. Those who say she doesn't "act" should just take a look at hos this angelical creature turns into this:

"I AM insane!"

Her boyfriend looks so supportive! Did you know he's the son of Malcolm McDowell and Mary Steenburgen?

THE moment of the night:

Her "what?" was such a lovely moment. I'm sure she never expected to win again. Well done Queen!

SaBu was rightfully one of the first to stand up and applaud the great Streep!

God knows I love Glenn Close (I'm a Patty Hewes wannabe) but Meryl has always had more of a movie star quality that she's always lacked. It was pleasant, if a bit heartbreaking, to see her become one of the all-time biggest losers.

Michel Hazanavicius and Bérénice Bejo are the new Brangelina, right? OK not really, but they exude old-world class in a way the other two will never do.

Gotta love Rooney's mischievous look.

And for those of you who feel I'm devoting too much to Meryl's win, just like her, I say:

"Whatever..."

Long live the Streep! Did you enjoy the Oscars or am I just bringing up bad memories? Had you moved on by now?

SAG Style.

I was busy watching The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo for the third time last night and forgot all about the SAG awards. I loved the winners, so there's that and now let's focus on what really mattered, how everyone looked:

Again, as much as I loved pregnant Natalie Portman, that baby bump robbed us of some magic last year, just look how stunning Natalie looks in this plum Giambatista Valli. Her figure has never been better and the simplicity of the makeup and hair are to die for. 

I have come up with a theory. Every time Meryl Streep looks good she loses at awards shows. It's like they have something against the greatest living actress looking beautiful when she wins...

You want proof o my theory? Should I write a full post on this? Help me decide... 

Anyway she was fantastic in Vivienne Westwood last night.

Marchesa does no wrong when well used. Viola Davis is a true goddess in this flowy Greek inspired dress.

Tilda Swinton is a true vision in this astonishing Lanvin creation, which might just be the exact opposite of the liquid fabric Lanvin she collected her Oscar in. The red lips and hair remind me a bit of Marilyn Monroe and I'm imagining the late genius Derek Jarman doing Marilyn with her...

Is there anyone more adorable than Octavia Spencer? She's looking fierce in this light grey Tadashi Shoji. The high hairdo might be the best we've seen her in so far and the lovely top make her look truly regal.

Oh, actually yes, there is someone more adorable than Octavia, her The Help co-star Jessica Chastain. Want proof of that? Here you go. Anyway, the lovely actress stunned in a blue Calvin Klein that highlighted her upper body in a way she's failed to do recently. Doesn't she look dreamy?

Rose Byrne is gorgeous and this dazzling Elie Saab jumpsuit (and her new bob!) make her look even better! Only someone with real guts can pull off such a daring look on a red carpet. She's ace!

I will keep including Lea Michele in these lineups for as often as she looks completely ridiculous in her extreme posing and affected, almost constipated, in her facial gestures. This Versace dress is awesome, but Lea always manages to cheapen everything with her sluttiness and need to be in the spotlight. Sigh.

The always lovely Emma Stone rocked this Alexander McQueen tea-length dress which pays homage to The Help while reminding us of what a genius McQueen was...that top is SO Lee!

A Valentino red dress seems to be what Michelle Williams needed to finally look alive. She's a picture of joy in this column dress with delicate lace appliqués.

Someone needs to feed Angelina Jolie, she looks cadaverous in this Jenny Packham dress. The gown itself is lovely but Jolie's bracelet looks heavier than her entire body. 

Who were your best dressed at SAG? 

Sheet-y Saturday.

Where we take a look at posters for upcoming features.

It wasn't until I read an article on it in The New Yorker, that I was even remotely interested in watching John Carter. However the fact that it's directed by the same guy who gave us WALL-E makes me all sorts of excited. Reading about his creative process makes this poster work in all different kinds of ways. He gives us the star, the monsters and tops it all with a beautifully subdued font that somehow doesn't feel completely at home in the strange intergalactic scene. Isn't that what his movie is supposed to be about?

Angelina Jolie has never really been a particularly exciting or versatile actress yet somehow I'm very curious about what she might bring to the table as a director. The fact that this poster doesn't make her name the biggest thing about it makes me think she's trying to show the world she's more than a pair of luscious lips and Mrs. Pitt.

Excited about either of these?

Style Sunday.

Doesn't she look pretty when she stays away from black? The unusual color of this Jenny Packham dress make Angelina Jolie look adorable. Her paleness contrasted to the vibrant red hues of this gown make for a quite pleasant sight. Gotta love her simple choice of hair and makeup too.

Up and coming girl Jessica Chastain seems to be getting ready for the imminent red carpets she'll be crossing all awards season long. She stars in the Palme d'Or winner The Tree of Life and is looking the movie star part already. This stunning Roland Mouret dress not only highlights her gorgeous figure, it's also a work of art in itself. Mouret's taste for architectural dresses is quite evident in this, but notice the amazing color blocks. The turquoise and yellow look amazing combined with Chastain's lush red hair. Can't wait to see more of her in red carpets!

Golden Looks.

Last night's Golden Globes were as predictable as well, the Oscars (not a faulty winner anywhere though) so let's concentrate on the only source of real pleasure we can always be assured to get from award shows: fashion.
This time around I'll concentrate just on the things I loved. It would be too easy to start condemning celebrities for how bad they looked (ScarJo, that hair...) and well today I'm in a great mood. So without further ado:


Everyone and their moms wondered what mom-to-be Natalie Portman would wear and she defied all our expectations by looking positively angelical in this Viktor and Rolf column dress.
The soft pink made her look divine and that embroidered rose kept calling the attention to her tummy and her breathtaking smile.
She didn't even need that Globe to look this divine.


January Jones in Versae kept reminding me of Madonna circa 1990. The classic siren hair, the red lips. Whoever says she's an ice queen will probably melt with this look.


I would've never guessed this dress was Vera Wang. Perhaps I'm used to seeing Wand gowns in petite, often flat chested girls which was why this look on Sofia Vergara was mindblowing.
boy has she come a long way...


I most certainly don't like Angelina Jolie but I couldn't help thinking how beautiful she looked in this emerald green Versace. The way it brought up her eyes was astonishing.


New mom Nicole Kidman was a vision in cream Prada. The statuesque actress pulls off looking regal like very few women can.


Olivia Wilde was just perfect in Marchesa. The chocolate degradé and the sparkles which could've been too prom-like worked wonders with her loose hairdo and simple makeup.


Jennifer Lawrence keeps impressing us with her poise and natural beauty. If someone ahd told me the little girl from Winter's Bone could pull off Louis Vuitton like this, I would've deemed you insane. Now I'm dying to see what she'll wear during the rest of the season.


Many actresses tried to pull off the slightly granny look - think Meryl Streep accepting her Oscar for Sophie's Choice and Kate Hepburn in Long Day's Journey Into the Night - but failed miserably (ScarJo and Sandra Bullock I'm looking at you).
The sexy Leighton Meester did it beautifully in this simple Burberry that looked quite "normal" on the surface but had a stunning leg opening.


My absolute favorite look of the night belonged to my beloved Anne Hathaway in Armani Privé. If the curve hugging from, in all of its Metropolis meets Joan of Arc glory, wasn't stunning enough, she had an open back that made your jaw simply fall to the floor. Just wow!

So, who was your fave? Did you enjoy HBC's cookiness? Don't limit yourself to clothes though. Any winners you particularly disliked?