Oscars 2012: Worst Dressed and Meh (Mostly Meh Though)

This year nobody seemed to make a total fool out of themselves which is a surprise. Then again, the Oscars had never been this safe and predictable in terms of winner which makes the fashion all the more understandable. To kick things off in the meh department we have Miss Angelina Jolie, whose leg seems to have taken on a life of its own in the aftermath of this preposterous look. While we all can agree that she's a beautiful woman, her leg pose was stupid because it made everyone laugh while she thought she was being Jessica Rabbit in terms of sexiness. Perhaps if the leg hadn't been poking out of a boring velvet Atelier Versace, we might've been a bit more impressed by it.

Bérénice Bejo's  Elie Saab is not bad by any means, but the color washes her out in such a way, that not even her fiery hair can spark any life in it.

Jesus Christ, enough with the nude color Kristen Wiig! This J. Mendle might be beautiful but it feels like she's worn it to every awards show she's been to.

This Marchesa is a tricky thing. On one side the combination of colors is quite striking and the beading is quite the handcraft, but it makes poor SaBu look at least twenty years older and twenty pounds heavier. The unflattering mid-section makes it seem as if she just had too much ice cream and wants to conceal her new belly. The lack of drama upstairs (meaning the natural makeup) in this case work against her, because we keep being drawn to the strange ice claws around her waist. Overall this one's a mess.

Melissa Leo is a mess one more time. This time she went for a too informal Reem Acra that slightly recall this ensemble worn by Natalie Portman last year. Portman was pregnant at the time, which explains the fact that she was going for a shapeless look. Leo has no excuse.

Wouldn't Jane Fonda have looked great in this Valentino Couture gown? It's totally up her alley and she's only like 60 years older than Shailene Woodley...

Oy, most people are in love with Viola Davis and think saying something unflattering about her is either being a racist, an idiot or the most insensitive person alive, but not even they will be able to deny that she chose a very bad time to get rid of her wigs. We get it, she's proud of her heritage but the wigs were so beautiful that I'm sure no one really knew they were fake. This new hair gives her a Dennis Rodman look that's beyond unflattering, mostly because she's always pairing it up with dresses that are way too tight in the boob department. The color in this Vera Wang isn't doing anything for her really.

Oh J. Lo, you A-list hoochie. This Zuhair Murad dress is what Octavia Spencer was wearing but unlike what the pattern did for her, it does nothing for Lopez who looks like a hooker from space. The holes on her arms are inexplicable and give the dress a cheap look. Did she run out of fabric?

What do you think of these ladies? Anyone here you would promote to best?

Style Sunday.

The British were coming at an event held by BAFTA last night in Los Angeles. His royal highness Prince William, who also happens to be President of BAFTA (as if being a future king wasn't cool enough...) attended with his wife, Kate Middleton. Of course, she looked stunning but I keep wondering, where the hell does she find all these wholesome looking Alexander McQueen gowns?

This lavender creation is of course the epitome of classiness but would it kill her to try something a little bit more aggressive and McQueen-ish? Those odd little hats don't count.

Mary Louise-Parker brought her relaxed hippie-ness to the royal table in this cherry Dolce & Gabbana gown. Considering it lacks some oomph for a royal shindig, it's lovely to see her preserve her quirkiness.

Excuse me for saying this but royals should be bowing down to her royal majesty of actressing Nicole Kidman. I love how with the years she's adjusting herself to more sober, but still terrific, looks and how lovely her smile has become with each passing year. This Ellie Saab gown isn't a scene-stealer but Nicole must know that at a royal party, you are not supposed to overshadow the future queen. This well thought dress and demure style make her even more majestic.

Ooh-la-la, god only knows why Blake Lively gets invited to all these amazing red carpets, or perhaps he does, and the reason is merely because she always looks fantastic. This flowy Marchesa gown goes against everything Blake has us used to. Oh no, no boobs or legs! But with the see through loveliness of the fabric and the very Marchesa embroidery she looks like a true goddess. Her simple, unkempt chignon completed a look that reminded me of a Renaissance nymph.

No words describe how magnificent this is and I won't even try.

So, there you go...

Maria Bello was all kinds of lovely in this metallic Donna Karan gown. Gotta love how her tan doesn't make the already shiny fabric look vulgar.

J. Lo probably didn't get the memo that this was a BAFTA event with Prince William and not the Grammys with will.i.am, so she showed up like she always does, flaunting her best assets.

This Emilio Pucci gown will make most women alive envy Lopez's stunning curves but is this the best she could do when she was going to be near the future Queen of England?

How do you even bow before her in this without ripping the fabric and showing Kate your luscious ass?

The Brits weren't the only place for fab fashion this week though...

Anne Hathaway was the fairy tale princess at this year's White Fairy Tale Love Ball, where she opted for a gorgeous Valentino Couture dress. The little details in this dress are best appreciated when you see it in movement, Annie looked like she was hovering while distilling pixie dust. Gotta love her bold red lipstick and romantic hairstyle. Only she can pull off sexy risque and then melt our hearts with this kind of look.

Armani Privé + Cate Blanchett = fashiongasm.

How the hell did she avoid looking like she was part of the red carpet?

This asymmetrical Chanel gown makes the lovely Diane Kruger look like she won best dressed at the 1986 Academy Awards. Make of this what you wish.

Phew, lots of looks this week huh? Can you pick a fave?

When Maggie MET Louis.

I know the Met Costume Gala this year was held more than two weeks ago, but bear with me, I've rarely had time to blog this month and this being my second favorite fashion event of the year and all, I thought you all could indulge me and help me pretend as if the looks from the ball were completely fresh in your eyes.


Maggie Gyllenhaal, bless her soul, isn't the smartest dresser out there.
Sure she's not quite common as an actress and she might want to bring her quirk to her looks but she rarely makes it work.
This Gothic Louis Vuitton gown was probably great in theory but her lack of makeup and lazy hairdo steal the dramatic edge the dress needed to stun.


Kirsten Dunst looks fabulous from the head all the way up to the hideous country boots she's wearing.
The lacey Rodarte dress looks beautiful with her fresh face but ugh the shoes...why does she always try so hard to boycott herself in red carpets?


The lovely Carey Mulligan is straight out of the 60's in a lavender Miu Miu minidress.
The pockets are adorable but notice the delicate work in the embroidery and you'll understand why she pulls off this look like no one else could.


Demi Moore is a vision in all her Jessica Rabbit glory. I loved the dramatic effect the silver gave her femme fatale look.
My surprise was to realize that this wasn't Versace but Lanvin!


Anne Hathaway looks like a 50's princess in a flesh toned Valentino.
She reminded me of Grace Kelly and Judy Garland and to think that she got the simple hair and makeup so damn right by keeping it so simple is a wonder.
Her smile is as usual her best accessory oh yes and that's Kate Bosworth next to her...


Always the icon, Sarah Jessica Parker pulled off a stunner in her Halston Heritage gown.
This year the Costume Institute celebrated the American woman and she's straight out of the disco era (the flower!) in a subdued design by one of the country's most brilliant couturiers.


If Marion Cotillard is suggesting she'll become a legend she couldn't have done better than in this sparkly Dior inspired by Marlene Dietrich.
I'm not sure if I like the altogether look (it's a bit too matronly for the young actress) but the intention is delicious and in such a night reminds us that glamor came from the old continent.


Another who's never afraid to experiment, January Jones pulled all the runway tricks and wears this YSL minidress like a pro. The makeup and opera gloves might be a bit too much and perhaps would've been more appropriate for last year's gala.


I love Charlotte Gainsbourg and I adore Nicolas Ghesquiere and I love that they love each other.
But sometimes I think a little time apart wouldn't harm them as she keeps inspiring the same ideas in him and he keeps providing her with print minis and strange shoes.
They look amazing but seeing other people might not harm them.


Quite the Greek vision Christina Hendricks is straight out of a theater B.C. the L'Wrenn Scott dress is a beauty but her makeup is a bit too kabuki.


J. Lo is gorgeous but a bit safe in this Zuhair Murad gown.
Is it me or did Marchesa make something just like it a few years ago and Beyoncé wore it?


If I had Blake Lively's legs I probably would prance around in short dresses showing them off as well.
But I'd love to see her in something with more fabric for once. Can you imagine the effect of this Marchesa if it had a huge, puffy skirt to go with it?


Melissa George evokes film noir in this simple J Mendel.
The color is magnificent and the draping is to die for but the real beauty is how her hair and makeup go so perfect with the whole thing.
Times like these make me wish she was a huge movie star.


Renee Zellweger is wearing a gorgeous Carolina Herrera, as usual.
But what the hell is going on with her Kathy Geiss hairdo?

Did you pay any attention to the Met gala?
If so, did I miss any of your favorite looks?

The Back-Up Plan *

Director: Alan Poul
Cast: Jennifer Lopez, Alex O'Loughlin
Eric Christian Olsen, Anthony Anderson, Michaela Watkins
Melissa McCarthy, Linda Lavin

We all learned during high school that the order of factors does not alter the product, which is why The Back-Up Plan's intention to disprove this, or convince us it does, results in a disastrous romantic comedy attempt.
Lopez plays Zoe, a successful pet shop owner who one day decides all she's missing in life is a child. She gets artificially inseminated and as she leaves the doctor, wondering if she's pregnant or not, she just happens to meet the guy of her dreams.
This guy is Stan (O'Loughlin), an organic cheese maker with perfect abs and just the right amount of scruffiness to make Zoe swoon and distrust his intentions.
Of course she ends up being pregnant and the rest of the movie consists of how she breaks and makes up with Stan as she deals with her own insecurities.
The pregnancy then is merely a device, a McGuffin if you will, used to talk about the same issues romantic comedies usually talk about.
Whatever pretensions the film has of conveying post feminism, dysfunctional relationships and single mother empowerment are lost the moment the audience discovers it's actually using these subjects to revert the characters back to the same old archetypes we're accustomed to.
This wouldn't be a problem if the film was straight forward about it (most people know what they're getting into with current rom-coms...) but its notion that just rearranging the story will work, makes it disrespectful of the audience.
Lopez gives a satisfying, somewhat charismatic, performance, this after all is her movie (notice how there are no recognizable actors besides her) and she's meant to hog the spotlight at all times. She's not as contrived as she usually is (despite the film trying to make her too cute for her own good) and whatever serious flaws are found in her character are due to the poor screenplay which goes from the stupid to the offensive (Zoe's disabled dog isn't only called Nuts but his name sounds like a certain political party when Zoe adds a "-y" in the end).
This being the J. Lo show and all also robs us from the opportunity to watch the ensemble shine brighter. Watkins who plays her best friend delivers the funniest lines in the film and the usually funny Anderson has a character who doesn't even get a name...
The Back-Up Plan is as hormonal and irrational as its lead character; it goes from feeling like a Tampax ad to a parody of Sex and the City in less than a minute and audience members might not feel inclined to satiate its cravings.

Oscar Fashion: Best Dressed.

10. Demi Moore

I still have no idea what she was doing there (when did she last release a movie?) but Demi Moore was as usual a treat for the eyes.
Dressed in a ruffled Versace that matched her sublime tan she was one of the night's best (in a night that also happened to have very few-if none at all-disasters).


9. Cameron Diaz

Diaz had never been as beautiful and classy as she was in this beaded Oscar de la Renta. At first it reminds you too much of the gown Reese Witherspoon collected her Best Actress Oscar in but Diaz was a bit more playful with the loose hair and makeup.
She's a total surfer princess.


8. Sigourney Weaver

Lanvin can do no wrong and this design in deep red makes Weaver look both sexy and regal.


7. Zoe Saldana

The following two entries have offered perhaps the most polarized opinions in terms of fashion. Both are huge gambles that might work in a runway but have to pull a little something extra to work in a red carpet but they also worked in my opinion.
First is Saldana in Givenchy. The dress was made out of three main parts which all seemed to be made by different designers.
The top was sparkly joy, the middle was deconstructed delight and the bottom was flamenco fiesta, however, the three elements have beautiful synergy and for someone like Saldana who remained so committed to her character in "Avatar" the dress, with its magical sea creature with sparkles details, seems to have been made by the best couturiers in Pandora.


6. Vera Farmiga

Marchesa gowns at red carpets have become as common as Meryl Streep appearances and the truth is that it's the house that more often pushes the boundaries in terms of what to add to dresses (remember that one Anne Hathaway wore three years ago?).
Farmiga had already donned Marchesa this year for the BAFTA's, where she looked angelical, and this berry colored creation might either take your breath away of bring you memories of 80's proms.


5. Meryl Streep

During the last few years the greatest living actress has been challenging our notions that she wasn't such a good dresser (what she wore the year she was nominated for "The Devil Wears Prada" is still unforgivable) but last year and especially this one she has been amping her fashion cred.
In a simple, but stunning white creation by Chris March she instantly recalls "Now, Voyager" (this and this) and it makes total sense that the legend would want to recall Hollywood's studio era.
Best of all though are her beautiful shoes (which she said she was dying to take off) and that gem encrusted clutch which embody timeless elegance.


4. Penélope Cruz

She might always play it safe (and sometimes even dull) to previous award shows but Pe always saves her best look for Oscar. Wrapped in burgundy Donna Karan she was two parts old school European glamor, one part quintessential American classic.


3. Jennifer Lopez

Some dresses seem to take on a life of their own once they're put on (J. Lo sure knows about this) and this Armani Privé was a perfect example.
She called it "iridescent pink" as she showed anyone who cared to see how the enormous tail moved (OK I know that sounds bad but you know I'm speaking of the dress...).
Not anyone can pull off the kind of dress that doesn't even fit in a seat and J. Lo did it with class and incredibly sensual grace.


2. Sarah Jessica Parker

If last year she was a 1950's princess, Sarah Jessica Parker is all about the wild 60's in this stunning pale canary yellow column dress with jeweled appliques.
Everything about this Chanel Couture dress is perfection. The subtle transition of the pastel to the stronger metallic tones is to die for and the jewelry goes so accordingly that you almost think it's part of the dress.
The whole look is as if SJP had been possessed by a younger version of Julie Christie (the whole thing is straight out of "Darling").
If the clothes goddess is doing a decade theme at the Oscars I'm already salivating at what she'll do for the 70's.


1. Diane Kruger

You don't have to be an expert to know instantly that Diane Kruger is wearing Chanel. If the petal inspired middle section of the dress doesn't tip you off, then the black flowers will or the creamy color that you could almost swear has a faint No. 5 or Coco Mademoiselle scent...
In a nutshell this delicate but imposing work of couture art does more to evoke the legendary house than that dull biopic with Audrey Tautou did and Kruger shows that runways and red carpets sometimes can be the same.

Kate Kraze.

"Oh G-d, who's the other one?"
- The gorgeous Kate Winslet congratulating, and forgetting, her fellow nominees upon winning her second Golden Globe of the night.

I never thought I'd feel so happy to see Meryl Streep, Kristin Scott-Thomas, Penélope Cruz and Anne Hathaway lose an award until they all lost to the lovely Kate Winslet.
When she first won Best Supporting Actress for her work in "The Reader" I realized she'd go and win 'em both (I'd predicted her for Drama Lead despite Hathaway-gate) and when Cameron Diaz gave her that look my heart stopped as Kate came to collect her Best Actress award for her brilliant performance in "Revolutionary Road".
And really she was the highlight of the show, one that had some of the worthiest winners I've seen in ages. Mickey Rourke and Colin Farrell got Best Actor in Drama and Comedy respectively and were in fact the best in their categories (toss up between Sean Penn and Rourke for me) and the lovely and extremely Amy Winehouse-like Sally Hawkins got Best Actress in a Musical or Comedy (who'd guess they're both so shy and quiet when in their professional lives they seem just so fiery?).
"Vicky Cristina Barcelona" got Best Picture Musical or Comedy and that made my day despite Penélope losing, but back to Kate for a minute...
She single-handedly put some spice into this season again. Best Actress has been extremely tough to guess this year and with this double whammy what the hell will happen at the Oscars?
Ballots are due tomorrow so tonight won't have any effect anymore, but will the Academy also get her a double nod? And if so can she actually go ahead and win them both?
I shiver with excitement and if she eventually gets both awards the thing is that she would be perfectly capturing what seems to be the spirit of this awards season which is rooting ecstatically for your favorites.
Not only with Kate, but with Heath Ledger obviously and on the TV side this was captured perfectly with "30 Rock" and "John Adams" rightfully sweeping, but if a crossover appeal was ever more obvious it was "Slumdog Millionaire".
Whenever the nominees for the film were announced there was thunderous applause and cheering and each time it got an award the room just exploded.
When the film eventually won Best Picture-Drama and the camera captured Christina Applegate going "it's soooooo good" it was obvious that everyone there wanted this film to win.
There is no way this movie can lose that Oscar now. The energy of people who like it is contagious, even if I didn't love the movie I was happy it was winning things.
And don't even get me started about Dev Patel and Freida Pinto. They are just so cute and rootable (?).
They did this silly Bollywood dance class on the red carpet and instead of making me laugh at them I went "aww" and that is exactly what the movie is doing to everyone else.
Can it be so wrong that we have the need to share joy? And why is joy only as obvious in crowd pleasers?
The answers to those questions are too deep for tonight...for now I'll leave you with my favorite fashion of the night (ranked in no particular order).


Finally. What the hell is this?
I'm one of the only people who still likes her, but this is just impossible to defend.