Meet Me at the Met.

Guess who's back in da motherfuckin' house!

Exactly one week ago I had a date at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City. Much to my disappointment the Met was closed (I later found out it's always closed Mondays but still...) however to my surprise, that day they were setting up the red carpet for the Costume Institute Gala: my second favorite red carpet event in the world.

This year the festivities were dedicated to the memory of the late genius Alexander McQueen as the Costume Institute set up an exhibition of his work appropriately called Savage Beauty. People in New York, do yourselves a favor and go see this show. It was one of the most breathtaking art exhibits I've seen in my entire life and since this blog isn't about my life, but about movies, I'll review the red carpet and seam it into a travelogue sort of thing.

The fantastic Stella McCartney wore a design by well, herself and rocked the asymmetrical leg with Alasdhair Willis.

Salma Hayek, as many others, went with a McQueen design which gave her an ethereal aura that neutralized her overcoming erotic sense of fashion. She looked elegant and simple. Notice how she's even subduing the boobs! Well done Hayek!

The statuesque Giselle Bundchen opted for a simple McQueen (if there is such a thing in the designer's oeuvre) that highlighted her height and gave her a regal look.

Madonna, fresh off the time machine, rocked this Stella McCartney that paid homage to great screen sirens like Ava Gardner and Joan Fontaine. the color is absolutely perfect and her Jean Harlow-esque hair is perfect.

Only Beyonce can grab Emilio Pucci and make him seem like he's an understudent at the House of Dereon. This all too tight dress highlights B's gorgeous body in all the wrong ways. She needs to lay off the black and gold for a while.

Even if I'm not a fan of this Alexander McQueen, props should always be given to SJP, who time after time pushes fashion forward.

Blake Lively, who I never ran into despite my best efforts, is a vision in this Chanel Haute Couture. The nude and print paired with the chiffon make her look like a Greek goddess out of a modern orgy.

If something works for you, keep it up, no? Gwyneth Paltrow's state of mind seems to be that since column dresses with sexy high slits have worked for her recently, now's not the time to stop. I would've loved to see her try something new but this Stella McCartney truly defies criticism.

J. Lo chose a McQueen inspired Gucci that highlighted her curves while adding a sense of purely dramatic flair. This reminds me of getting lost on the 6 train (true story).

I, for one, am glad that Taylor Swift gave up her "angelic girl" look for this event. Sure, this J. Mendel dress and severe hairdo make her look like Carolina Herrera but hey, it's about time she embraced womanhood, no?

Oh Diane Kruger. When will this perfection let us down? Your Jason Wu dress is nothing if not simple, yet you wear it with such grace and add this strange sexiness to it that Veronica lake herself would come from the grave to ask for your fashion advice.

Michelle Williams finally smiles for the cameras and looks stunning in this Miu Miu with golden patterns. Speaking of which, I think I finally saw what others see in her acting-wise. She was phenomenal in Meek's Cutoff (that's what I ended up doing after my failed Met date...review coming soon!)

Pé rocks my world, as you all know, but she's been lacking a little something after her pregnancy. This Oscar de la Renta is efficient but looks too much like what she wore for last year's Golden Globes.

Emma Roberts owns Scream 4 and she also gives this Michael Kors design a youthful sexiness not anyone would've achieved.

The awesome Jennifer Hudson highlights her best assets in this lovely Vera Wang dress. The big skirt and see through chocolaty cover make her look good enough to eat.

Amy Adams should stop trying to pull off L'Wrenn Scott. It just doesn't go with her! While the idea of this dress is rather nice, the execution looks cheap and plain dull. It doesn't help that she tried to do her hair in a manner that resembled the gown's pattern.

Wednesday Addams is back! Christina Ricci rocks this strange Zac Posen in a way Helena Bonham Carter only dreams of! The odd skirt and weird patterns are pure runway Posen but the Gothic romantic feel is all Ricci.

The adorable Hailee Steinfeld gives the Fanning sisters (who wore Valentino) a run for their money in the "freaking cute" department. Unlike them however, Hailee is always age appropriate. This Stella McCartney has the edge of the knee length but balances it with a graceful neckline.

Kristen Stewart, really? Let's concentrate on how dreamy the Proenza Schouler guys are instead.

Stella McCartney seems to have been the designer of the night, with apologies to Lee. Kate Hudson looks positively gorgeous in this gold and crystal appliqués design.

Now, out of all the people who donned Alexander McQueen, I think Coco Rocha pulled it off best. Not only did she go with a Lee that's actually wearable in the real world, she also gave it an edge by accessorizing with the dress and not against it.

Kate Winslet was astonishing in this Stella McCartney. People in NYC you must head out to The Museum of Moving Image and see some of the Mildred Pierce costumes they're currently exhibiting. One of my biggest disappointments in coming back home was that I was unable to attend a screening of the entire miniseries at the museum. Can you imagine how awesome that would've been?

Anyway, how have all of you been doing?

Style Sunday.

How Julia Roberts gets more and more beautiful with every passing year is something I will never understand.
But here she is for the premiere of Eat, Pray, Love looking stunning, in a Stella McCartney jacket, Diane von Furstenberg shorts and strappy Roger Vivier sandals. It's amazing to see her look so fresh while indulging in her beloved black fetish.


Christina Ricci is all sorts of wonderful in a simple Louis Vuitton pencil skirt and a vintage multicolored top.
The toeless pumps and clutch compliment her beautifully and is it me or her new highlights make her face look more radiant?

Speed Racer **

Director: Andy Wachowski, Larry Wachowski

Cast: Emile Hirsch, Christina Ricci

Matthew Fox, Susan Sarandon, John Goodman

Paulie Litt, Benno Fürmann, Roger Allam

The good news: the Wachowski brothers have made a faithful adaptation of the 1960's famous Japanese anime series.

The bad news is that this adaptation is so true to its source that it even acquired its sense of irrelevance, dullness and an idea of fake nostalgia powered by the same sense of expectation that made it popular during its era.

Story goes something like this, Speed (Hirsch) is the second son of the Racer family. Since he was a little kid he's been obsessed with cars, no wonder considering his whole family has been in the business forever. When he grows up he becomes a professional racer trying to live up to his, deceased, brother Rex's legacy.

His life, when he's not racing, pretty much consists of his interactions with his family. Pops (Goodman) is a jolly, overprotective man, Mom (Sarandon) is a perky, barely there female role model.

There's also his youngest, mischievous, brother Spirtle (Litt) who's always getting in trouble with his pet chimpanzee Chim Chim, loyal family mechanic Sparky (Kick Gurry) and Speed's girlfriend Trixie (Ricci), a feisty racer herself, who bats her eyelashes whenever she needs to prove her own driving abilities or when trying to get Speed out of the chastity they live in.

After his great performance in several races, Speed gets contacted by Royalton (Allam) a corrupt corporation owner who offers to sponsor him in exchange for wealth beyond his imagination.

When Speed refuses, Royalton tries to take his career down, leading the hero to team up with the mysterious Racer X (Fox) in order to uncover an evil plot, compete in the Grand Prix and live up to having a movie named after him.

The ultimate in CGI extravaganzas, the Wachowski brothers create a complete, saccharin infused universe made out of colorful buildings, video game like skies and camera flashes.

Somewhere in the middle of this we're supposed to catch the jaw dropping races all the characters keep referring to, but what we see is mostly flashing, "whoosh"es and our watches as the film extends to a luxurious, and unjustifiable, 135 minute running time.

The cast does its best to play the flat part of anime characters, with Ricci and especially Fox (who combines angst, sexiness and raw manliness in completely unexpected ways) stealing each of their scenes.

Hirsch might come off as one of the biggest problems since he never becomes more than the cartoon character. His heroic qualities come to him by default as we never feel the spark that makes him want to race so much.

He talks about it and his concentrated frown seems to be tailor made for us to realize he's going through some deep enlighting process, but Hirsch is as wooden and distant as anyone from "The Matrix".

Then again, wasn't the original Speed Racer the exact same way? Hirsch might be in fact giving a good performance that we're unable to enjoy because the character he's playing isn't worthy of being emulated.

A confusing experience, in more than one way, the Wachowski brothers try to deliver a political essay that talks about the dangers of capitalism.

But what exactly do they have to say for themselves when they try to shove this into a multimillion summer blockbuster?

Even more, how can they justify these thoughts when they go and use Speed in the very same way they condemn their characters for trying to do.

To the Wachowskis, Speed Racer is nothing more than a commodity; a perfect excuse to try out their new technological gadgets while underestimating an audience that needs much more than speed.

For teenagers "Speed Racer" doesn't come near to delivering the thrills and excitement they get from being the heroes behind the wheel, in real life or in the ever more realistic video games that are released every week.

Plus, when they're playing they don't need to go through the characters' unsufferable line readings and emotionless actions.

For little kids the experience might feel more like a mission to go through than any fun and for parents who might worry their kids will suffer some kind of seizure with the cornucopia of color and movemement, watching the film will probably be more about keeping an eye out on their children. But they not need worry, for "Speed Racer" drags so much that they'll be long asleep before any risky sequences.

For a movie that brags so much about being driven as opposed to merely driving, "Speed Racer" is often in urgent need of a tow.

Penelope **

Director: Mark Palansky
Cast: Christina Ricci, James McAvoy
Peter Dinklage, Catherine O'Hara, Richard E. Grant
Simon Woods, Reese Witherspoon

Cute in concept, but flawed in execution, "Penelope" is a fractured fairy tale that tells the story of the title girl (Ricci), a wealthy heiress who inherited a curse from one of her ancestors and was born with a pig snout. The curse can only be cured by one of her own kind (whatever that means which gives the plot one of its biggest flaws).
Her parents (Grant and O'Hara) faked her death, have kept her hidden in their home all her life and have hired a dating service agent (Ronni Ancona) to find her a suitor who will marry her and be able to break the curse, but most of them run away the minute they see Penelope.
One of them (Woods), who is deemed as insane after revealing what he saw, teams up with a local reporter (Dinklage) to uncover the story.
They hire a gambler (McAvoy) to infiltrate Penelope's home and take her picture for the world to see, but obviously romance rises when these two strangers begin to see past their shortcomings.
With a plot that tries to cover too many current issues, what remains most poignant besides the whole "inner beauty" thing is how easy is to obtain fame nowadays.
Penelope becomes a celebrity only because she's different (that she's rich could be a direct comparison to specific cases) but even she becomes aware of how unjustified her fame is.
And to be honest, Ricci puts so much heart into Penelope, that the snout isn't really something absolutely hideous.
Perhaps the film was trying to prove how demanding society has become with minor flaws, or they chose to provide her with the wrong animal part to make a stronger case.
Most of the cast is terrific, especially Grant as the cool father and Jason Thornton as the family butler who doesn't get much lines but steals every scene he's in.
Producer Witherspoon gets a small role and an opportunity to shine without overpowering the lead actress, with a character that works like some sort of urban fairy godmother and is filled with more life and glee than most of the film ever lives up to.
Sadly the romance between the leads is never engaging, probably because the film makes us fall for Penelope and not even want the curse to disappear, so when the plot begins to suggest it will take a man to fulfill her, it loses the girl power sass it feeds itself from to inspire others.
The visuals are stunning, think of "Amélie" meets Tim Burton, but the final product itself feels lacking in something.
You gotta give them point of course for the final sequence in which we're forced to try and think what was this all really about.
Even when it fails in so many ways, a film that has the guts to question its own existence with a surprising innocence and a bit tongue in cheek self awareness reminds us what fairy tales were invented for in the first place.