Oscars 2012: Best Dressed.

It was the safest year we've ever had on the red carpet. This means that:
a) There's little to make fun of and even less to give us nightmares (something that very well describes the utter forgettability of the whole event)
b) There is just one look that will go down on the fashion books (guess which one...)
c) Meryl Streep is featured among the best dressed for the second time! You'll be in shock when you see how high she ranked!

10) Natalie Portman
Since last year she denied us moments of amazing fashion (damn you baby bump!) she tried hard to make up for it this year in a series of looks that highlight her loveliness. This vintage Dior gown features polka dots, yes polka dots, and even if you would've assumed they only worked in relaxed episodes of Mad Men, Portman made the look acquire a certain je ne sai quoi. The hair is a bit of a letdown, but she looks so jovial and fresh...

9. Michelle Williams

It was about time MiWi wore something that made it seem she was having fun and enjoying herself. The girlieness in this Louis Vuitton is undeniable and the way she accessorized it (the little bow!) is absolutely adorable. This is the first time I've ever been in love with one of her looks.

8. Emma Stone

Yes, we all know this Giambattista Valli is essentially Nicole Kidman's Balenciaga froma  few years ago. The difference is in the style of the woman who wears it. With Nicole, the dress made a statement; it seemed to be saying "I am a gift to humanity" and neither of us could prove it wrong, which is why the dress gained a certain arrogance (very much like Jolie and her leg this year). 

As worn by Emma, the giant bow expresses her exciting youthfulness and her eager desire to be liked. The flow of the gown is remarkable and Emma's grin brings it something that Nicole's icy demeanor never achieved.

7. Rose Byrne

She's sexy and she knows it, that's why she went for a simple Vivienne Westwodd sequined sheath that screamed disco queen meets dominatrix. 

6. Stacy Kiebler
She may not be a celebrity but boy was she perfect on the red carpet. This Marchesa is one of the most beautiful I've ever seen. The structure is perfect, the color is bold and demands everyone's attention. Clooney lost Best Actor but he sure had his own little golden statue to take home.

5. Penélope Cruz

Everyone seems to have a strong opinion on Pé's new hairstyle. I think the length is perfect and even if it gives her a slight severity it still brings out the Grace Kelly-ness in her. Something highlighted even more by this gorgeous sky-blue Armani Privé which follows Pé's own kind of red carpet trend but feels utterly refreshing in spite of its classic-ness.

4. Jessics Chastain

Do you remember when Beyoncé wore an awful House of Dereon black and gold dress to the Oscars that made her look like a huge Chinese lantern? Do you remember when a few years later Halle Berry showed Ms. Knowles how to do black and gold? Well, Jessica Chastain now occupies the title of best black.and-gold wearer of all time, in this majestic Alexander McQueen that culminates Chastain's impeccable red carpet season with what might become her most iconic look. She is picture perfect and too flawless for words.

3. Rooney Mara
Bangs? Check.

Intense red lipstick? Check.
Givenchy structured dress? Check.

Mara was another newbie princess bringing it all together with a flawless Oscar look. 

The dress' texture made it look like she was surrounded by clouds. Perfection!

2. Meryl Streep
Upon first looking at Meryl's liquid gold Lanvin, one would've thought she was dressed like an Oscar because she knew she'd go home empty handed. As the night progressed, the color gave the Queen of Actors a certain glow that made her look holier than ever.

Then, she won and Meryl achieved a new power, that of prophecy given how beautifully her newest statuette looked against her dress. This is the best Streep has ever looked at any awards ceremony. Well done! Posterity will be thankful.

1. Gwyneth Paltrow
On a night that was all about nostalgia and old Hollywood glamour, Gwyneth Paltrow set the bar higher than the rest in this absolutely exquisite Tom Ford dress complete with a Joan Crawford-esque cape. This look is so perfect that not even the cape is mock-able. It gives her a demure consistency that's only surpassed by the simplicity of her makeup, hair and accessories. If she had gone for a tight bun or a high hairdo, she might've been too severe, or too old. The ease with which her pony tail let the dress take over and highlighted her sinfully beautiful bone structure, might just be Gwyneth's most astonishing red carpet look. Some are crediting the dress to the fact that she had first dibs on Ford's ultra secret new collection but come on, how many actresses out there can pull off a cape?
Gwyneth's boldness and refreshingly oxymoronic effortless glamour are what sartorialist dreams are made of!

What were your favorite looks?

I also discussed fashion with the awesome Nathaniel and Kurt over at The Film Experience. So what are you waiting for? Head over there and join the merriment!

Fiddle-dee-dee!

Ugh, I feel like I haven't seen Pé in a movie screen in ages. Actually I might not have, considering Nine never officially played in theaters here...oh wait, well yes. she did have that tiny cameo in Sex and the City 2 but you know what I mean. Anyhoo, doesn't she look breathtaking in this production still of Nero Fiddled?
Don't we all wish she'll join Dianne Wiest and win two Oscars for Woody movies? (If you don't, say yes anyway).

Cartoon Star.

Don't you love when famous people are turned into cartoons? I know I do and this lovely lady up there is none other than Estrella Morente (of Pé's singing voice in Volver fame) who gets to play herself in the lovely Chico & Rita. I saw it, as well with three other Animated Feature nominees over the weekend, head over to The Film Experience to see how it went.

And the BAFTAs Went To...

I love how random the BAFTAs usually are. They seem to have decided to celebrate James Bond's fiftieth anniversary by inviting Tom Jones but not by having say Sean Connery, Roger Moore and Daniel Craig present Best Picture...

Daniel Radcliffe looked so happy to be there! He kept doing huge smiles as if he was auditioning for Broadway again.

Queen Meryl looked positively regal for once, may she please wear something this magnificent to the Oscars.

Jonah Hill has such a mancrush on Brad Pitt, don't ya think?

I was shocked to see Kristen Wiig presenting because she was so brilliant last night on SNL that one would think she'd need a few days to recover and charge her brilliant batteries. In my mind she and Jean Dujardin (who was stunningly awesome on SNL too) flew together and she went through her Bridesmaids airplane skit. Or maybe just maybe she kept her 20's flapper dress and traveled via Dujardin's favored way of transportation:

I love how Octavia Spencer just radiates with joy every time she sees Viola Davis.

Well done Paddy! His Tyrannosaur won Best British Debut.

Sigh.

Oh you magnificent creature... 

The BAFTAs always offer the strangest combinations. Why would Christina Ricci and Jeremy Irvine be together? Also, what was up with Cuba Gooding Jr. and Billy Bob Thornton being there?

The Artist swept the awards even winning Best Original Screenplay.
I have nothing against the movie and contrary to what its director would think, I knew it had a screenplay.
What I don't get is how it would win for originality when it's such a rehash of so many movies? The clip they played for this category even featured the Vertigo score!

R.I.P.

This man's voice! For a minute he made me wish the BAFTAs turned into Dogville and Nicole Kidman showing up to kick everyone's asses...

Chris O'Dowd is just the cutest.

Senna not only won Best Documentary, it also upset The Artist taking Best Editing. Really people. if you have not seen this movie, run and find it now.

Don Draper is mad!

Joan knows better...

(I love that they played "All the Lovers" when she presented an award)

Meryl Streep makes winning awards both pleasurable and award-worthy within itself. When she left her shoe on the stairs going up to receive her Best Actress award, not only did she create her own headlines about being Cinderella and loosing at the balls for more than 30 years now, she also made me wonder if this was all planned. She is known for her perfect technical prowess. 

She even made me love that Colin Firth was there, even if it should be Jesse Eisenberg handing her out awards.

All bow to Queen Meryl!

Yay Pe!

Pe handing out Best Actor justifies Natalie Portman not being there. I feel like she's been out of the spotlight for too long...a bit over a year fine, but let me be!

Just give this man his Oscar already. I don't get how anyone would have anything bad to say about him, he's so charming and gorgeous and unlike Clooney and Pitt, he does act in his movie. He doesn't play himself...

Why can't the Oscars come up with interesting presenters for Best Picture?

Is it me or does Bérénice Bejo look like she could've given birth to Emma Stone?

I love how Marty is always so happy to win awards, however to be honest he's been so mistreated by awards bodies that I wish he'd go all Woody Allen on their asses and forever ignore them.

Did you enjoy the BAFTAs?

Style Sunday.

Pé looks amazing but the point this time around isn't what she's wearing but where she's buying. Don't you just love when movie stars shop at places where you can shop too? It's all very Sharon Stone in Gap in a way, no?

The angelic Kylie Minogue rocks the hell out of this electric blue Emilio Pucci. She wore it to debut her stunning Aphodite: Les Folies tour in her home country.

Who's your fave?

Oh Lars...

After making poor Kiki wish she'd been swallowed by the Earth in that now infamous Cannes press conference, and then coming through for her by helping her get one of the most prestigious acting awards in the world, Lars von Trier gave one of his most awesome interviews ever to Anne Thompson.

The interview is filled with amazing von Trierisms, my favorite of all being when he talked about Pé choosing Pirates of the Caribbean 4 over his little film:

It’s happened to me before this, these big actresses think that ‘ok he can just wait for me,’ which of course I could. But my problem, compared to other directors, is that I can’t work on more than one thing at a time. And that means that I should wait three quarters of a year doing nothing. So I chose to try something else.

Bless his mad genius heart. Read the whole interview here.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides *

Director: Rob Marshall

Cast: Johnny Depp, Penélope Cruz, Geoffrey Rush

Ian McShane, Kevin McNally, Sam Claflin

Àstrid Bergès-Frisbey, Richard Griffiths

Given how excruciatingly terrible the two last installments of the Pirates of the Caribbean saga had been, it was perhaps reasonable to expect that a fourth chapter would only be created in order to improve the series. This wasn't the case. On Stranger Tides in fact might be the worst of them all and if you've seen the other ones, you understand this is saying a lot.

Johnny Depp is back to play Captain Jack Sparrow, by this point however he seems to have become so uninterested in the character that he plays him on autopilot. Sparrow still delivers witty lines and acts like he's drunk; however by now his quirks have just become preposterous and fail to add shades to this character.

This time around Sparrow gets dragged into an expedition to find the Fountain of Youth that Ponce de León had set out to find two centuries before. Sparrow's expedition is led by the evil Blackbeard (McShane) and his newfound daughter Angelica (Cruz) who also happens to be Jack's former flame.

Of course things won't be just that easy for Sparrow and crew, given that two other teams have set out to find the fountain. One of them is led by Sparrow's perpetual enemy Hector Barbossa (Rush), the other by Spanish conquistadors. Somewhere within the movie there are inklings of a political statement meant to have been suggested with these multicultural races towards advancement.

This might be looking too much into the film's flawed screenplay though, given that so little happens over such a long time that your mind might wander and try to find things to rescue about this production.

Many questions might arise, like: why does such an expensive film feel so cheap at every turn? The visual effects fail to impress and at moments look almost dated. What are actors like McShane, Rush, Depp and Cruz doing in such a film?

Rush as usual injects Barbossa with a manic wickedness, while McShane is given so little to do and it's such a shame given his talent for delivering villains. Cruz remains enjoyable throughout the movie and is perhaps the only cast member who never seems to get bored by the ridiculous levels the plot reaches. She somehow seems to be having fun and in one of her last scenes is even able to find something that feels like an emotional core of sorts.

The biggest enigma in the film though, might be why is it so dull? From the beginning, when it throws complexly choreographed sequences at us (one even contains a Judi Dench cameo!), everything feels like something we've seen a million times before and never really liked to begin with.

While the first installment in the series brilliantly exploited the film's amusement park origins, this one feels like a very long ride down an attraction someone forgot to make fun. How can something so big, be so little fun?

Despite the film's loudness, it's almost impossible not to drift while watching it. Perhaps director Marshall tried to see too much into these characters and situations? For there is not a single character who doesn't suggest a richer backstory than they deserve (something Angelica mentions about a convent might've been a better movie than this one...) and for all these comments about past stories we get truly ridiculous attempts at humanizing these people even more. Marshall then gives us a boorish love story between a missionary (Claflin) and a mermaid (Bergès-Frisbe). He's looking for faith, she's not one of "god's creatures" and before long we have even more winks about religion by way of the conquistadors who speak exactly three Spanish words in the film.

There's dozens of plot holes, setpieces that go on and on and on without any purpose and an overall disturbing feeling of coins falling into Disney's own treasure chest. Not even Cruz's own phenomenal chest makes this any better.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides drags for so long, giving so little that by its end you will wish you found the fountain of youth, if only to recover the hours you lost watching this.

Question.

Can someone explain to me how does Pé go from this (i.e. sartorial perfection!)

to this?

...all frumpy and matronly? Both are Armani Privé but she should honestly stop with the black Sophia Loren dresses! She's still so young and sexy!

The Man Who Wasn't Here.

Apparently I decided to neglect my poor site again but that doesn't mean I haven't been writing.

I'm featured twice today at the fabulous The Film Experience.

First, I discuss Meryl and then Nat rescued me from an afternoon of hard work under the sun (not literally but I'm in drama queen mood) to talk about fashion! I could not refuse, especially because we talked about Cannes' red carpet.

So, go read me!

Style Sunday.

Pé's back!

After a string of red carpet disappointments, which I'll attribute to postpartum disorientation, the Spanish beauty has began to command red carpets the world over, while she promotes the new Pirates movie.

In Russia, she was a winter delight in this simple Emilio Pucci pencil dress. You gotta love Pucci's use of snowflakes as pattern and remarkably, despite how it all screams cliché (bows and snow in Russia, really?), Pé actually looks hot! Yay for the return of the bangs too!

Now on to the sunny Cannes, she goes for one of Stella McCartney's form fitting designs. The simplicity of this dress truly highlight the hard work Pé must've been doing to get rid of the baby weight. She looks absolutely fabulous! The loose hair works wonders for her too.

Then finally, she really blows our minds in this beautifully detailed nude and lilac gown from Marchesa. Love how the appliqués and embroideries seem to have been glued to her curvaceous body and despite the oddity of the shoulder puffs, she pulls off a stunning mermaid look that's sure to send her all the way to year end lists as one of 2011's best looks...

...and the bangs? Just wow!

Had you missed Pé as much as I did?

Meet Me at the Met.

Guess who's back in da motherfuckin' house!

Exactly one week ago I had a date at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City. Much to my disappointment the Met was closed (I later found out it's always closed Mondays but still...) however to my surprise, that day they were setting up the red carpet for the Costume Institute Gala: my second favorite red carpet event in the world.

This year the festivities were dedicated to the memory of the late genius Alexander McQueen as the Costume Institute set up an exhibition of his work appropriately called Savage Beauty. People in New York, do yourselves a favor and go see this show. It was one of the most breathtaking art exhibits I've seen in my entire life and since this blog isn't about my life, but about movies, I'll review the red carpet and seam it into a travelogue sort of thing.

The fantastic Stella McCartney wore a design by well, herself and rocked the asymmetrical leg with Alasdhair Willis.

Salma Hayek, as many others, went with a McQueen design which gave her an ethereal aura that neutralized her overcoming erotic sense of fashion. She looked elegant and simple. Notice how she's even subduing the boobs! Well done Hayek!

The statuesque Giselle Bundchen opted for a simple McQueen (if there is such a thing in the designer's oeuvre) that highlighted her height and gave her a regal look.

Madonna, fresh off the time machine, rocked this Stella McCartney that paid homage to great screen sirens like Ava Gardner and Joan Fontaine. the color is absolutely perfect and her Jean Harlow-esque hair is perfect.

Only Beyonce can grab Emilio Pucci and make him seem like he's an understudent at the House of Dereon. This all too tight dress highlights B's gorgeous body in all the wrong ways. She needs to lay off the black and gold for a while.

Even if I'm not a fan of this Alexander McQueen, props should always be given to SJP, who time after time pushes fashion forward.

Blake Lively, who I never ran into despite my best efforts, is a vision in this Chanel Haute Couture. The nude and print paired with the chiffon make her look like a Greek goddess out of a modern orgy.

If something works for you, keep it up, no? Gwyneth Paltrow's state of mind seems to be that since column dresses with sexy high slits have worked for her recently, now's not the time to stop. I would've loved to see her try something new but this Stella McCartney truly defies criticism.

J. Lo chose a McQueen inspired Gucci that highlighted her curves while adding a sense of purely dramatic flair. This reminds me of getting lost on the 6 train (true story).

I, for one, am glad that Taylor Swift gave up her "angelic girl" look for this event. Sure, this J. Mendel dress and severe hairdo make her look like Carolina Herrera but hey, it's about time she embraced womanhood, no?

Oh Diane Kruger. When will this perfection let us down? Your Jason Wu dress is nothing if not simple, yet you wear it with such grace and add this strange sexiness to it that Veronica lake herself would come from the grave to ask for your fashion advice.

Michelle Williams finally smiles for the cameras and looks stunning in this Miu Miu with golden patterns. Speaking of which, I think I finally saw what others see in her acting-wise. She was phenomenal in Meek's Cutoff (that's what I ended up doing after my failed Met date...review coming soon!)

Pé rocks my world, as you all know, but she's been lacking a little something after her pregnancy. This Oscar de la Renta is efficient but looks too much like what she wore for last year's Golden Globes.

Emma Roberts owns Scream 4 and she also gives this Michael Kors design a youthful sexiness not anyone would've achieved.

The awesome Jennifer Hudson highlights her best assets in this lovely Vera Wang dress. The big skirt and see through chocolaty cover make her look good enough to eat.

Amy Adams should stop trying to pull off L'Wrenn Scott. It just doesn't go with her! While the idea of this dress is rather nice, the execution looks cheap and plain dull. It doesn't help that she tried to do her hair in a manner that resembled the gown's pattern.

Wednesday Addams is back! Christina Ricci rocks this strange Zac Posen in a way Helena Bonham Carter only dreams of! The odd skirt and weird patterns are pure runway Posen but the Gothic romantic feel is all Ricci.

The adorable Hailee Steinfeld gives the Fanning sisters (who wore Valentino) a run for their money in the "freaking cute" department. Unlike them however, Hailee is always age appropriate. This Stella McCartney has the edge of the knee length but balances it with a graceful neckline.

Kristen Stewart, really? Let's concentrate on how dreamy the Proenza Schouler guys are instead.

Stella McCartney seems to have been the designer of the night, with apologies to Lee. Kate Hudson looks positively gorgeous in this gold and crystal appliqués design.

Now, out of all the people who donned Alexander McQueen, I think Coco Rocha pulled it off best. Not only did she go with a Lee that's actually wearable in the real world, she also gave it an edge by accessorizing with the dress and not against it.

Kate Winslet was astonishing in this Stella McCartney. People in NYC you must head out to The Museum of Moving Image and see some of the Mildred Pierce costumes they're currently exhibiting. One of my biggest disappointments in coming back home was that I was unable to attend a screening of the entire miniseries at the museum. Can you imagine how awesome that would've been?

Anyway, how have all of you been doing?